Blog #97: Escape from NYC, Sycamore Gig, What's next
I'm in PA at the moment. I took a train here this afternoon, been feeling a bit burned out and tired from the constant struggle that is New York City, and I haven't written a blog entry in a while because of it. Sometimes I feel like its a constant uphill battle being a musician. You put so much work in; so many hours of practicing, writing music, rehearsing bands, scheduling, booking gigs; its exhausting. Sometimes you can bring some people out to shows, and sometimes you play some pretty empty depressing gigs. I even find dealing with other musicians pretty tiring(or maybe that's all people). When I get a text or email these days my first thought is 'ugh, I'm sure this person is just trying to cancel or reschedule', and when one person tries to move a rehearsal, it usually means I have to make a lot of phone calls, or send a bunch of emails and coordinate a bunch of schedules that will never fit together. On top of all that, it seems like so many musicians I know have issues with each other. They are always saying "you should get this guy, don't use this guy" or "I don't want to do a session with him, he's a dick" or "I'm mad at that guy". Trust me, I'm not excluded from that drama by any means: there are plenty of people around that really hate my guts. Add in the fact that we're all hustling for a small number of gigs around NYC, trying to bring out friends and win over fans. Its just totally exhausting and at some point you need a break.
I needed a break, so I headed for my parent's house in rural PA. They live about 40 min outside of philadelphia. I got in this afternoon by train, did a few hours of trumpet playing and then went for a nice drive on the windy back roads. It was nice out, so I had my windows down, blasting some Miles Davis(Cannonball Adderley's Something Else). I feel a bit more relaxed already. I did some errands, went to the market and bought some cereal and milk: people seem a lot friendlier outside of New York, even just the little exchanges with the cashier. NYC can be such a hostile place, and it feels like everyone is just looking out for themselves and ready to cut the throats of strangers.
Before leaving, I played a gig this past week with my new band 'Heart of Darkness' @ Sycamore in Brooklyn.(with John Beaty-sax, Brad Whiteley-keyboard, effects, Julian Smith-bass, Nick Anderson-drums), all original music by me. I booked this show as "Jon Crowley Presents: Heart of Darkness". I like the idea of presenting groups like that, that way it can be me doing whatever project I'm working on at the moment, and frees me up to do a lot of different stuff. I don't think I've ever worked so hard as I I did to promote this gig and to bring people out. I made a Facebook Event, I sent an email, I listed the gig on AllaboutJazz.com, Trumpetherald.com and HotHouse, I made a bunch of fliers and put them around Brooklyn, dropped some off at the venue and even sent some live recordings to DJ Linus at Breakthrough Radio, who did a nice special on me. (Thanks Linus! http://www.breakthruradio.com/#/post/?dj=djlinus&post=735&blog=29&autoplay=1)
Anyway, the show went really well. We had a pretty small audience: probably just 15 people and they were pretty much all close friends of mine. The show felt like I was just giving back to the people who I care about, which was nice. The band and I really gave our all and I was happy with the music, which had a lot of energy and passion. Felt like I got out a lot of what's been brooding inside me. We only rehearsed that day, several hours before the show and the last rehearsal was right before our last show back in January (although we had a different drummer on this one: Nick Anderson: who sounded AMAZING). I recorded the show and will put it up for free download/listen on my bandcamp site in the next few days. (www.JonCrowleyMusic.bandcamp.com). Lastly, the one person I didn't know at the show came over and introduced himself, signed my maiilng list and bought a CD. He told me he loved the music and wanted to see us play again...I told him I have no gigs scheduled at the moment. He also said that our show made his day and that he had come down stairs to see some music purely by coincidence. The fact that he liked the music so much made my day. It feels good to win people over with musical honesty and emotional sincerity.
Sycamore was a great venue: it was in the basement and felt like a wine cellar. The room was very warm and sounded great. I'd love to play there again. I've been thinking a lot recently about where I want to go next with my music. I've played at all the big venues around the city: The Blue Note, 55 Bar, Fat Cat, and Lincoln Center. While I'd play at some of those places again, I'm not rushing back to most of them. There's so much stress and BS politics involved that I just don't want to deal with. Hoops to jump through, asses to kiss. I don't want to play those games anymore. I think in the future I'd be more interested in playing smaller shows(less frequently) for people that are really there to hear music, relax and have a good time. I don't like the separation that exists in playing club dates. I'd like to play more house shows, art galleries and other random alternative spaces. Playing this show at Sycamore for people I care about made me feel that direct connection with the audience even more, and that's what I want to do more now.
SO, if you live somewhere on the east coast, like my music, and want to have a party or do a house show and have a bunch of friends over, and would like to have my group come play a set, I'd be down. If everyone that came out could just throw in $5 or $10 dollars, we could probably make it work. I want to bring music directly to the people and am looking for that honest and direct connection with people. Send me an email, let's make it work. JonCrowleyMusic@gmail.com
Other than that, I'm going to chill out in PA for few days, rest, get away from all the NYC drama for a while, refocus, and practice. I bought a one-way ticket, so I will be here as long as it takes to do that. I am single and don't work a steady job, so I can get away with that. I just want to reflect on everything that has happened personally in the past few months with the end of my old band 'Red Light Growler', other personal things that have happened and where I want things to go from here.